I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
this is an emotional support booty call
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
