Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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