Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
