My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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