He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize