it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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