I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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