She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
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