Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
