question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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