I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
