Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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