Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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