you mean i was at the winter classic?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
