what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
so let's talk penis.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
