walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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