Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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