I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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