therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Blood and glitter go together right?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
