first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
