omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
