Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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