: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
