do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
