So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
