Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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