I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
