You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Randomize
