I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
