i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
