Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
