where am i from again
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Please don't give away my fajitas
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
