Do you still have your period?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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