im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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