i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
