ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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