chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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