Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
