He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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