there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
