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barbara walters just said penis...
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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