So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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