FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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