we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
