tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
