I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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