i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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