Who wears a wallet chain?!
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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