I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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