Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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