I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize