Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
