Ambien. No doubt about it.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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