I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
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