I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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