It's Friday. Sex?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
