and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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