apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize