You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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