My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
