did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
